Chapter 2...

Spring really is such a great time in the Northeast... The sky is blue, the plants and trees are blooming, and the news is packed full of juicy nuggets to mock the piss out of... Enjoy...


HNM&P: When asked how he felt about the results from the Pennsylvania primary last night.. Mr. Obama was overheard saying... "Why won't she just admit she has a penis?!? Why can't the country see that this she-man is going to murder the economy, not change healthcare, keep our troops abroad, and for G-d's sake SHE HAS A PENIS! It's a man, man!"

HNM&P: After hearing Mr. Obama's statement, Mrs. Clinton had this expression on her face.

Later Mrs. Clinton was heard responding with... "Did I forget to tuck my buldge? This is why Mark Penn should have stuck around.. he always reminded me...."

CNN SAYS: 6-legged kitty named Hex needs surgery

HNM&P SAYS: We just threw up.... That was seriously just wrong...

CNN SAYS: Bear featured in film kills trainer

HNM&P SAYS: What is this world coming to? First a wild tiger kills, and now a bear? Why can't these wild animals that belong in the wild just learn their place... IN ZOO'S performing for children dammit! We can't wait until a celebrity's kid or a politicians wife gets eaten..

CNN SAYS:Group stuck on remote Pacific island

HNM&P SAYS: We thought we loved LOST. Jebus.. these people put us to shame...

HNM&P SAYS: He's F'ing Matt Damon!

DAD OF HENRY NEWS:

Well it’s official.. Lifestyle change is in effect, Gym 5 days a week, Nutrisystem diet, golf lessons, and a good nights sleep more often than not.

Workout today will be 35 minutes of cardio on the elliptical, followed by 75 crunches, and ending off with a solid 5 minutes of rowing at a rate of 33.

DAD OF HENRY SPORTS NEWS:

2008 American League - Standings
EAST

Boston
15-7
Baltimore
11-9
NY Yankees
11-10
Toronto
10-11
Tampa Bay
9-11

This makes us giddy as a schoolgirl!

MOVIE NEWS:

These films will be critiqued later this week:
1.Charlie Wilson’s War
2.Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead.

That's all we have for this morning. Have a good morning all...